Lorri Angell, LPC-Associate, EMDR Trained, ADS
Supervised by Cristy Ragland, LPC-S, LMFT-S, RPT-S, EMDR certified
Simple Tools to Calm Your Nervous System: Part 2 of 3
Gratitude is one of the simplest and most powerful tools to calm our nervous systems, which supports our mental, physical and relational health. Just like exercising and diet – consistency in using the tools is key. For part one of this blog series, which includes physical and relational warning signs to increase awareness of the need to pause and calm ourselves, how to belly breathe, as well as helpful micromovents for self-regulation, click HERE.
Gratitude
Research and experience all point to the immense benefits of intentional gratitude.
The more we practice gratitude by focusing on what we appreciate, the more accessible and effective this tool can be. Here are some factors to consider as you consider beginning or enhancing your gratitude practice.
Timing of gratitude
The brain is more neuroplastic the first hour in the morning, so it is especially beneficial to practice gratitude that first hour. Bring to mind a few things you are thankful for before even looking at your phone – as what you focus on in that first hour sets the tone for the rest of the day. It’s also important for healthy sleep, so it’s ideal to cultivate a gratitude practice in the evenings before going to sleep. You could write down gratitudes from the day; however, if you’re too tired to write, you could relive the gratitude moments from your day as you drift off to sleep. In addition to morning (first hour) and evening (last hour), another good time to practice gratitude is whenever you notice any of those physical and relational warning signs discussed in part 1. You can experiment with pausing, focusing on deep belly breaths, and then moving into what you can appreciate even in the midst of the challenge. “Even though I feel ——-, I am thankful for this invitation for deeper self-awareness and growth.” For example, maybe your teenager, colleague or boss treating you disrespectfully is an invitation to grow in the areas of self-respect and boundary setting. Practicing gratitude in the midst of challenges (or as soon as possible afterwards) isn’t to bypass the hard emotions, but to help us gain perspective and to remind us that pain can help us grow into a more integrated and authentic version of ourselves.
Size of the gratitude
No gratitude is too small to be beneficial and it can feel empowering to find joy in the smallest glimmers throughout the day. Some examples include things like: the smiley interaction with a baby at the store, the beautiful song of a bird outside, peaceful moments of watching fluffy clouds float by, the smell after rain, the flavors of a delicious meal, the feel of gentle breeze on your skin, the funny text from a friend, a call from a loved one, meeting a new colleague at a networking event with mutual desire to connect again, the energy boost as you exercise, listening to a favorite song, etc. Journaling (or just mentally appreciating) these little positive moments each morning, evening, and throughout the day, is a simple but powerful calming tool. The more we practice gratitude, the more resilient we will be in the midst of stressful times.
Embodiment of gratitude
When you journal, think or share specific gratitudes, it is especially important to notice how and where you feel the gratitude in your body. For example, you might feel a relaxation in your shoulders, lightness in your head, expansion in your chest, or warmth in your belly. If you can’t perceive where you feel it in your body, that’s okay. Just keep trying to notice and it will come in time with practice. Embodied gratitude/appreciation integrates more areas of your brain and therefore is more powerful than mere cognitive thinking of the gratitudes.
Specificity of gratitude
The more specific the gratitude, the more powerful the effect is. For example, “It made me feel happy to see the way my friend’s eyes sparkled with joy when she talked to me about her first dance class” is more powerful than just “I’m thankful for time with my friend last night”. To make it embodied gratitude, I would notice where I feel that in my body. When I think about that memory, I feel a warmth and opening in my chest.
Building your gratitude muscle
The more you practice gratitude, the more easily your brain perceives and notices things to appreciate. The benefits of embodied gratitude to our brain and nervous system are far reaching. Another benefit of growing an awareness of how your body feels in a state of gratitude, is that you’ll also become more sensitive and aware when it’s shifting into a state of stress (like the warning light on your car). As we become increasingly sensitive to the contrast of gratitude state versus a stress state, the quicker we can respond accordingly. The feelings are to be attended to, and not ignored, in order to prevent bigger problems down the road. The more we can notice those subtle signals, the more proactive we can be to calm ourselves, keeping ourselves healthier and calmer and also keeping us from unintentionally harming our loved ones with our stress responses.
Final thoughts
Practicing embodied gratitude daily is another simple and powerful tool to regulate your nervous system to support your mental, physical and relational health. Finding what works for you in your body and lifestyle, and using it consistently, is key. Remember to habit stack with tools from part 1 and part 2 as you are able. An example might be slowly walking, gently rubbing in a circular motion underneath your collarbones, while belly breathing and feeling what you are grateful for in that moment or from your day. The sky is the limit for combining tools and techniques that work for you. We are all a work in progress and it is never too late to find the tools to help you to not only survive but to thrive. You deserve it and this world truly needs YOU, with all of your uniqueness, in your most grounded and authentic state. Look out for part 3 coming later in September!
Conclusion
While all of these self-regulating tools (and many more can be found online) are supportive to your mental, physical and relational health, they are not a substitute for professional support. The more trauma, or unprocessed pain we have, the more triggers of stress responses there tend to be. There are many wonderful mental health professionals in Austin, Texas who are equipped to do this, including at my practice, Compassion Counseling Group. Our bios and rates are listed at: https://compassioncounselinggroup.com. Two of my favorite healing modalities are EMDR and Walk and Talk therapy. If you’d like to set up a free discovery call to discuss your needs and explore our potential fit, please call or text me at 512-774-4932 or email me at l.angellcounseling@gmail.com